Jpaan has it's own facebook/myspace -like website called Mixi. And there's  communities and groups you can join, just as with fb/ms. I've found one that describes my feeling exactly: It's name is でも生きています - "...but, I'm alive"

No matter what we might want, how hard it might be, well, we're still alive, and while being still alive, we should make that moment worth living. Just hang on there for a bit longer. And that's what I'm doing - hanging and trying to keep my head together between the elation, depression, panic and a complete "f*ck this all". I was just yesterday evening talking with a friend and she commented to me how completely I had changed since mid-May when we had been talking about love - how sure I had been about everything. Now she told me it was like talking to someone completely different. But, I've decided just to hang in there and do nothing - besides there are absolutely no signs that I migh stand the slightest chance, so...

Gah. Stupid me. But hey, I'm still alive. Better just to concentrate on my books, I know they love me, or something... Who needs guys anyways?